Chapter 04 / Even if it hurts

January 25th, 15.002

La Paz, Ashveil Desert, Umbra [Vampire Continent]

Midday in La Paz was anything but quiet. Cadets rushed across the courtyards, their voices carrying as they were shuffled into last-minute drills. Workers shouted over scaffolding as new beams went up around the Citadel. Families hurried through the Civil Quarter, children clinging to their parents, clutching fresh notebooks for classes that would begin in just days.

Sukira cut through it all, her black tie and her long old leather jacket marking her as on-duty. She had left Ryn to supervise the morning circuits — reluctantly, but orders were orders. Black shades on while she made her way up the wide stairs to the main building of the Command Towers.

At the top, Elon stood already waiting.

He wasn’t in uniform. He wasn’t part of the Elite. Just his usual romantic-cut, half-bottomed shirt and loose black trousers, hair pulled back half-heartedly, faint ink still on his fingertips from the morning’s (secret) work. He had spent the last weeks buried in the library, sorting through the endless mountain of books no one else touched, and in the spaces between, with Risha. Always with Risha.

Their eyes met at the entrance.

“You too?” Sukira asked flatly, slowing her step.

Elon tilted his head slightly, blue eyes glinting. “Apparently.”

Neither moved to open the door. Around them, La Paz kept moving — cadets passing by, carts rattling, someone calling orders from the medical grounds — but between them, time held still.

“Do you know what this is about?” she asked, her tone sharp, though underneath was a thread of unease.

“No,” Elon said evenly. “Which makes it worse.” He pulled her black sunglasses up, as trying to catch her eyes. 

She had grown used to his proximity; she didn’t even care anymore — she let him do as he pleased. She was too busy trying to figure out why they had both been called to a meeting. Sukira exhaled through her nose, glancing up at the unfinished stonework of the Tower. “If it’s some Committee game, I swear—”

Elon’s mouth quirked. “Looks like neither of us gets a choice.”

They stood there, side by side, both tense for different reasons; Sukira pulled from duty, Elon pulled from his self-imposed distance.

Finally, she pushed the door open. “Let’s get it over with.”

Inside the Command Chamber, midday light streamed through high windows, catching on dust motes and the gold threads of Ailin’s hair. She sat at the far end of the table, posture perfect, eyes sharp. Her uniform had more layers of clothes than needed, maybe a reflex of her own persona. Jeda lounged to her right, chair tipped back on two legs, cigarette dangling between his fingers, unlit; he wasn’t allowed to smoke inside.

“Here they are,” Jeda called, grinning wide. “My favorite heartache and her half-prince shadow.”

The two pairs of eyes looked at him as they could kill him only in a blink of an eye. Jeda laughed. “Can I offer you something to drink before we start–” Jeda couldn't even finish.

“What is this?”, Elon stopped short, arms folding, suspicion already sharpening his features.

Sukira mirrored him, chin raised. “Cut the shit, Jeda”. 

Jeda dropped his torso onto the table. 

“Are they always like this?” Ailin asked, voice calm, though her gaze flicked between them like a scalpel.

“Yes—Always,” Jeda sighed, exaggerated. “Learning how to have a conversation with either one of them is a full-time job, an art. Somehow, I manage.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Sukira muttered.

“Not even close,” Elon added.

Ailin gave a small, patient sigh and slid a folder across the table. The movement was so smooth it felt like she’d been waiting for this moment all along. “Sorry, brother. I don’t have time for this.”

The folder stopped just in front of them.

Elon didn’t even look at it. He truly believed that nothing that could be said in that room would possibly be of any interest to him. His arms stayed folded, eyes fixed stubbornly on the people passing by below, looking at them through the window.

On the contrary, Sukira leaned down immediately, pulling it closer, but keeping the paper on the table. The sharp glitch from black to red eyes made Jeda lean forward.

“What’s with those eyes??” he asked, excited and curious.

Elon leaned to check and smirked, voice dry as desert sand. “She does that all the time.” A bit of evil sliced through those words. 

Jeda’s grin softened to something closer to disappointment, almost sad. “I’ve only seen her red eyes once…”

Sukira snapped, slamming at the table, making both of the men shut up. She turned to leave.

But Elon’s hand shot out, closing around her wrist. His grip wasn’t harsh –he was never rough with her– but firm enough.

“You can’t void if I'm holding you,” he said quietly, reminding her of the lesson from weeks ago.

Her face was on fire, but she didn’t move.

With his other hand, Elon flipped the folder open. His gaze landed on the first page.

Elon’s voice was flat as he set the folder back on the table: “Adoption papers.”

“Well, that escalated quickly, am I right?”Jeda said, low and playful, leaning forward on his elbows. 

Sukira tried to yank her wrist from Elon’s grip, but he didn’t let go. “Why am I even here? He’s his kid. Everyone knows it.”

“Not officially,” Ailin said, her voice calm but cutting. She steepled her fingers, gaze steady on Sukira first, then Elon. “La Paz is moving toward legitimacy. To stand as a nation, we need every citizen documented. School starts next week. Reno and Haru are on the rolls, while Risha… doesn’t exist.”

The words dropped heavy.

Sukira blinked. “You dragged us here for paperwork”.

“Paperwork is what keeps a child from vanishing in the cracks of history,” Ailin replied softly, every word deliberate.

Elon said nothing. Still holding Sukira’s wrist. She looked like she’d rather dissolve into smoke than sit at that table.

“You have two paths,” Ailin continued. “Risha can be registered as family-less — like Haru. He will be a citizen of La Paz, and nothing more. Or someone can adopt him. Make him their own, legally, for the world to recognize.”

Sukira kept tugging at her wrist. “Then why am I here? If someone’s adopting him, it’s him.” She jerked her chin toward Elon. “Not me. Just let me go already.”

Jeda chuckled under his breath. “Ouch.” He mimed a dagger in his chest.

Sukira shot him a glare sharp enough to cut him in half. He liked it. Elon’s jaw tightened, but he still wouldn’t touch the papers. He stared past them like the whole thing was beneath him—or maybe it was the other way around, maybe he felt he was the one who wasn’t up to the situation.

“Don’t look so offended, Sunshine,” Jeda said, tilting his head. “She’s not wrong. You’re already the dad in all but name. This just makes it official.”

“And you—” Sukira snapped, turning back to Jeda, “You know I don’t exist. You know what I’ve been dealing with. Why even bother? Why are you putting me in this situation? The kid already has me, whether or not I sign some shitty paper you invented in this fake room of this ghost city. La Paz isn’t even a country, it might never be.”

“Mhh”, Jeda’s smirk sharpened, he didn’t like the words she chose to bark. “You’re behaving like an angry beast on a leash. Elon, let her go already.”

As if on command, Elon immediately released her wrist. Sukira vanished into her void before her hand even dropped, leaving only the echo of her presence, a black and red dust.

Elon stayed and sat immediately, almost like a surrender, expression blank. He hadn’t looked at her even as he let her go.

“What she said is true, a part, at least… We are not a country, not yet. And that’s exactly why this matters,” Ailin interjected. Her voice was calm, but the weight behind it froze the room. She stepped closer and placed a hand on Elon’s shoulder. “If we’re to demand recognition from the world, we must first recognize our own people. Risha deserves to belong on more than a whim.”

“Raising him isn’t a whim,” Elon muttered, angry, as if his own sister was doubting the intentions behind his actions.

The air around the table grew tense, like a storm about to break.

“Hey,” Jeda said lightly, “just grab the papers and think about it.”

Elon stood, almost like a soldier, took the folder, and left without another word.

The silence lingered after the door closed.

Jeda exhaled, slumping back in his chair. “Spirits. Those two could turn breakfast into a battlefield.”

“Impressive, Jeda.” Ailin’s gaze stayed on the empty doorway. “You really are the only one who knows how to manage them.”

♥︎

He closed the door of the library-on-the-making behind him, adoption papers under his arm, and exhaled like the weight of the world sat between his ribs.

“Uh?”

The voice came from the far corner. He froze.

Sukira leaned against a shelf, half in shadow. The tie of her uniform loosened, like she’d stripped half out of duty the moment no one was watching.

“You didn’t even sense me.” Her smirk was faint, but her eyes glinted sharp. “What's happening? You don’t like me anymore?”

Normally, he would’ve had a line ready. Instead, his shoulders sagged. “I can’t deal with you right now.”

She tilted her head. “Finally! I remember when you told me you could handle me. Remember? We were at Risha’s birthday party.”

“I was clearly wrong.” The words were flat, heavy, final.

Her chest tightened. If he was giving up on her, what was left? Silence stretched, brittle. But his eyes were stuck on her, not letting her go, scanning her as he could understand her actions one time for all.  

“I love that kid more than anything,” Sukira said quietly. “But I can’t adopt him. I don’t even exist. I’m not a person in any system. I’m ready to die for the cause and it wouldn't be fair for him.”

Then don’t die for the cause. Problem solved. He thought to himself.

Elon didn’t argue. He only set the folder down and stepped closer, his hand lifting almost without his permission. His arms circled her, pulling her against him. The hug was stiff at first. Awkward. But he didn’t let go.

“Why are you doing this?,” she whispered against his shoulder; she wanted to run away but she lacked the will. 

“I don’t know.” His voice was rough. “I’m angry because you marked Jeda, and I’m sad because you are here but for some reason, since the Red Moon, I can’t stop missing you”. Now his tone was more gloomy than dry, the words dragging layers of emotions. He grabbed her tighter.

They stayed like that, surrounded by books and towers of paper. The folder lay on the table, weighing on them.

Sukira’s voice cracked the silence, pulling him away but he stayed close. “Do you think he knows?”

“Risha?” Elon let out a slow breath. “He knew you were leaving before you even decided. Maybe he also knows about this. I don’t know. He’s growing very fast, he’s sharper everyday.”

Her throat burned. “He’s human, after all.”

“I think about that all the time. I want to spend every moment I can with him, especially because of that”. 

She closed her eyes, leaning her forehead into his shoulder. “That was cruel.”

“Yes,” Elon murmured. “I’m sorry.” 

♥︎

January 28th, 15.002

La Paz, Ashveil Desert, Umbra [Vampire Continent]

The dining hall was alive with noise — benches packed, plates clattering, laughter and arguments bleeding into each other. It felt like the whole of La Paz was here: cadets, families, the Committee, the triad, and at the far table, the usual faces.

Forks clinked, bread was stolen, and somewhere between Reno starting a food-flick war and Tech lecturing Eloise’s new medics about “basic principles of not being idiots,” Risha’s voice cut through:

“Is it okay to like boys and girls?”

The table froze.

Every head turned toward him. Risha sat between Haru and Reno, fork halfway to his mouth, his question so casual it felt like asking for salt.

Then the adults reacted all at once:

“Of course it is,” Sami said immediately, reaching to ruffle his hair.

“Oh, I just love this kid,” Jeda muttered, grinning.

“Obviously, you can like whoever you want” Eloise agreed, cheeks warm but smiling.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Axis added matter-of-factly.

“Maybe the kid would be smarter if he’d stop thinking about love”, Tech said as the topic was somehow disgusting. 

“Why are you asking, Risha?” Sukira looked at him softly but sharp, as she was not interested in repeating the same thing everyone else already answered. Risha’s curiosity was always natured by her —and Elon.

The boy shrugged. “Because uncle Jeda is always cursing and saying he’s in love with them—” He pointed both hands, one at Sukira, the other at Elon.

The table erupted.

“Ah, I see”, Sukira replied and smirked. A bit regretful for asking. 

Jeda choked on his drink. Elon froze, expression unreadable, though his ears betrayed him with the faintest flush. Sami slapped Jeda’s shoulder while Tech muttered, “Pathetic,” under his breath.

“Kid, a dagger in the heart would’ve hurt less”, Jeda shouted. 

Risha grinned triumphantly, thinking happy with the situation, overall.

Conversation spun out, messy as ever — stories of first crushes, awkward romances, lost loves. Each person’s tone reflected their personality: Jeda dramatic, Sami maternal, Axis pragmatic, Eloise soft and blushing, Tech dismissive but secretly listening, as someone who never experienced such things.

“You know what would be incredible?” Dominique said, louder than the rest of the ongoing conversations, eyes bright, fork stabbing the air for emphasis. “If Suki and Elon had a kid–"

“Domi.”

“Nono, think about it: vampire, elf, human, pure bloodlines–”

“Domi…” 

"–crazy magical genetics. Beautiful as hell.”

“Doooomi.” 

"–It’d be like the ultimate Blessing.” 

“Dominique”, Sami’s voice snapped sharp.

But Dominique barreled on. “Listen, the potential! Stronger than any of us. Can’t you just imagine—”

“Dominique, you are so stupid sometimes.” Jeda joined Sami’s interruption, tone was sharper now, urgent.

Because Risha was staring at his plate, hands trembling around his fork.

Silence rippled across the table.

We already have a child, Sukira thought; she didn’t say it. The thought even betrayed her, she wasn’t expecting it. 

“Uhm… I forgot to do something!” Risha’s chair scraped against the floor as he shoved back suddenly, saying the first thing it came to his mind. 

“Hey, silly, what you forgot is dessert—” Reno called after him, but Haru caught his sleeve before he could rise, his eyes narrowing with a quiet understanding beyond his young years.

The adults watched the boy’s retreating back.

“Nice, Dummy,” Tech muttered, voice acid, though not without concern.

Dominique’s mouth opened, but no words came out this time.

“Well?” Jeda drawled, leaning back in his chair. “Dad better go pick him up.” He tipped his chin toward Elon.

Elon was already rising, his deep blue eyes flat. “Already on my way.”

The scrape of his chair was punctuated by Reno’s sudden, innocent question:

“Wait, wait, waaaait a second… if what the pink-haired girl said it’s right… Elon’s not his dad—” he pointed his fork toward Sukira, “—and you’re not his mom?”

Sukira froze. “...?”

Reno blinked at her, frowning as if it was obvious. “Uhm… I’m confused. But Riri said so. He told us. Many times! Elon’s his dad, ’cause he’s got blue eyes like him. And you’re his mom, ’cause you’ve got black hair like him.”

The words hung in the air, so painfully simple that even Tech looked up from his plate.

Jeda burst out laughing, loud enough to shake the tension. He caught Sukira’s eye mid-laugh, raising his brows in a way that said —that hoped— ‘go after him’.

Axis leaned forward, his tone quiet but sure, looking briefly at Sukira. “Sometimes kids choose you. Not the other way around.”

“Sweetheart, genetics don’t really work like that—” Tech cut mid-sentence, ever precise. “Hair and eye color have nothing to do with parental status. He’s not literally—”

“Oh, shut up, Tech, shut up.” Jeda added annoyed but popped up a grin immediately after, his eyes didn’t leave Sukira. “Kid’s sharp today, uh?” 

Sami snorted. “You only say that because now we all know how desperate you are for those two.”

“Everyone’s sharp today, uh?” Jeda fired back fast and without shame.

But Sami wasn’t laughing. Her gaze fixed on Sukira, too, steady and pointed. “Oi, you idiot. You lost your family when you were what? Eight years old? You’ve got a second chance sitting right in front of you, and what are you doing? Reading a fucking novel?” She took Sukira’s book away. 

This scene happened not so long ago or am I delusional?

“I really do hate when you scold me”, Sukira stood up, elegantly, but she kept muttering something under her breath while walking away, boots stepping hard in the hall.

♥︎

Risha was curled in the corner of his bed, Cloud pressed tight against him, shoulders shaking. Elon sat on the mattress, his hand steady on the boy’s back.

The scene mirrored one from months ago — too closely.

“She’s at the door,” Risha muttered into Cloud’s fur.

“You can sense her too?” Elon asked. His voice didn’t sound surprised, not anymore. Risha’s power was sharpening every week. Sensing Sukira — someone with no magic signature — was extraordinary. 

Sukira finally stepped in. She crouched at the edge of the bed, her voice lower than usual.

“Kid.”

He shook his head, burying deeper into the hound’s neck.

Elon’s voice followed, calm but firm. “What Dominique said—”

“If you… if you two had a baby, would you stop… training me?” Risha cut in.

The words pierced sharper than a blade.

“That’s not going to happen,” Sukira said, brushing his hair back with fingers gentler than she realized she was capable of. Truth, even if incomplete, was the only thing she could offer him now.

Elon hesitated, words sticking in his throat before he forced them out. “And we’re not just training you. We—I’m raising you. That’s different.” His voice cracked slightly, because Sukira hadn’t agreed, he couldn’t force her now. 

“Rish… why are you telling the other kids we are your parents?” Sukira asked.

Both Elon and Risha looked at her in unison.

Risha’s lip trembled. “Are you mad at me??” He looked between them, desperate; his lie, innocent as it was, was still a lie, and it had been discovered.

“I’m not,” she said quickly, wiping the tears from his cheeks. “I just want to understand why.”

“Because I REALLY would like that!! Who wouldn’t!!” The boy’s voice cracked loud as he broke into fresh tears. The explanation was simple but honest, as he usually was. 

Elon froze. He hadn’t known. He hadn’t even suspected. Risha was telling the other kids they were his real parents? His chest tightened, a mixture of disbelief and something dangerously close to hope. His mind went blank — he didn’t know what to say, what to do. He looked at Sukira seeking help.

But then, there she was, smiling. He only saw that expression on her face once before, at the edge of death. A wide, unguarded smile — and for a second, Elon forgot how to breathe. Sukira, smiling at the kids begging to be theirs. That wasn’t the kind of thing she did.

She noticed his gaze and, as if that gave her strength, took the lead.

“Risha. Please, stop crying. I need to tell you something.” She shifted closer, kneeling on the floor, stepping in front of him.

The boy sniffled, then took a long breath. Like a soldier following orders, he forced himself still.

“Elon wants to adopt you.” Sukira’s voice was steady.

Risha’s head snapped up. “AND YOU DON’T??” His lip trembled again, panic rushing back.

Sukira let out a soft puff of air, almost a laugh at his frantic urgency. “I also want to adopt you.” Her words were firm, but her hands trembled for a fraction of a second on his small shoulders. That was enough for Risha to notice. 

Risha’s eyes widened. “But… then why do you sound sad?”

Elon’s gaze darted to her. He wanted to hug her, to cheer — but he couldn’t. He didn’t know how the conversation was going to end. He needed to wait, to have patience, to give her space to work around it. 

Sukira swallowed hard and met Risha’s eyes. “Because, kid, I’m not like Elon. I can’t promise I’ll always be here. One day, I might need to… leave you.” 

Did I choose the correct words? ‘I might have to die’ is too much for him to hear. 

The boy’s lip quivered. She cupped his cheek quickly, brushing away the tear before it could fall.

“I don’t want to leave you. I’ll fight not to. But I can’t lie to you. Do you remember how I told you I’d always tell you the truth, even if it hurts?”

He nodded slowly, hiccuping.

Her thumb lingered against his damp skin. “If that day comes, and you can’t forgive me… that’s okay. I’ll still be proud to be called your mom.”

Elon’s heart clenched at the words. He wanted to shake her, to tell her she was cruel for planting this fear in a child — but he also knew it was the only way Sukira knew how to love: raw, unvarnished truth. The boy deserved nothing less.

Risha blinked hard, then his expression shifted, as if a spark had reignited inside him. His voice rose, shaky but fierce. “Don’t worry! I’ll train every day. I’ll get so strong that I’ll go with you wherever you go. And he’ll come too.”

He lunged forward, wrapping his arms tight around Elon’s side, tugging him into the embrace.

Elon stiffened for a heartbeat, then slowly let himself be pulled in. The boy clung to both of them — one arm gripping Sukira like a lifeline, the other wrapped around Elon’s ribs.

Brat. 

♥︎